For the past week I’ve been grappling with the concept of being visible – a take-away from a session I attended at APhA’s New Practitioner Network a couple weekends ago.Â
I reflected on the obvious benefits of this action, yet the struggle I have in execution, like many others with introverted tendencies or identities we are not confident in. In a moment of pause, I recognize shame, fear, and discomfort as my hesitancy to being seen. I am not 100% confident in what makes me unique and the paradoxical way in which I live and exist. Moreover, I know that once anonymity is lost, it becomes difficult to attain again…I see how many people do not treasure the peace that comes with being unknown and part of the crowd…until being able to blend in is lost.
Nonetheless, I recognize that many actions we conduct on a daily basis have a tradeoff. Time is precious and what we use it for compounds into the next day. With that, I realize I have not challenged myself recently and have sunk into a somewhat quiescent state. To alleviate my soul’s urgency to do as I say, I will confront my fear of being seen.Â
A challenge I set for myself in August is to bring visibility to the areas of my expertise and interest; perhaps on this schedule:
TBI Tuesday – People with traumatic brain injury (TBI) can live very difficult lives. Incredibly. I care so deeply for people who experience pain and suffering…it’s almost indescribable how challenging living can be when the organ responsible for our conscious, identity, and every function we execute does not comply.
I engage regularly with individuals with brain injury through The MindReset, personal communication, support groups, and more. Interfacing with others like me who have not evolved into peace and comfort can be overwhelming, traumatizing, and guilt-inducing. However, I perceive the connections I make and have with people experiencing chronic and challenging conditions overall as being more beneficial than detrimental. I receive astonishing amounts of inspiration, humility, grit, resilience, capability, and a sense of belonging that those from this community of my identity, those who had or have an intimate relationship with pain, trauma, and mortality, can offer in immeasurable quantity. Thank you for this. The origin of my promise. The fuel behind my work and actions. The centering of my soul.
On Tuesdays, I’ll let “Trauma Jing” out. Let the world see how “she” sees. It’s not always deep and dark; in fact, joy is more pronounced and easy to access when a striking contrast is readily available as a comparator. Fascination, intrigue, and curiosity nourish my lived experience. These days I experience historically inconceivable comfort and ability. I hope to share the experiences of my patient peers too…many gorgeous minds and souls in the direst of circumstances.Â
Work Wednesday – I am a pharmacist in the geographic information systems (GIS) and data analytics realm – the only one at Esri at the moment. Both individuals from the heath and technology realms find my occupation very non-traditional. However, as people begin to recognize my willingness to explore different avenues to achieve success related to my goal of improving quality of life, this transition does not seem odd at all. The current state of our health system is perverse and inexcusable. And GIS offers a tangible solution towards moving in the direction of our desired health state.
For the sake of people everywhere, health systems must adopt innovation. GIS should be part of every operation. Access to care is a pillar of public health and holds an obvious relationship to the extent of positive patient outcomes. Investing in tools that allow us to see and act on meaningful connections will help us achieve the collaboration we health professionals continuously endorse. Additionally, data scientists and health analysts must be considered as part of the interprofessional health team. These individuals are not often thought of members who can help bring us from where we are to where we want to be.
On Wednesdays, I will share with you what quality GIS tools are available to your organization to save money, time, and lives. I feel great comfort in knowing that my efforts to encourage health organizations to adopt these tools align with my personal and professional values to improve the lives of patients and providers in an actionable way, while also accommodating the business needs of each individual user. Win-win-win.
Thoughtful Thursday – A quote I live by is “change your mind, change your life.” Having broken my brain, I understand firsthand the power of thought in transforming our lives for the better. It is paramount for each of us to evolve, learn, and contribute our talents to endeavors greater than ourselves. Our individual potentials benefit greatly from being tended to regularly, but the investment in other people’s potential in combination with ours creates an opportunity for even more staggering possibilities.
June of 2017, I moved to Washington DC from Wisconsin for an executive residency with the American Pharmacists Association. Throughout my healing journey, I was urged to write a book about the process and my perspective as someone who had a literal mind reset. I knew how much effort I put into daily functioning and learning and had a sense of the difficulty of that project, so when someone suggested I start a blog, I felt like that would be more manageable and with a new move, the timing felt appropriate to start.Â
Nonetheless, moving to a new city, starting a residency, and finishing my Master of Public Health concurrently proved to be more time-consuming than anticipated.
On Thursday, I would like to highlight some of the work coming out of The MindReset community. Our writers, editors, facilitators, and other volunteers are a collective of brave, growing, compassionate, and well-meaning individuals. I am consistently encouraged by the voices and efforts that come from this community.
Pharmacy Friday – I was raised in the profession of pharmacy. A large part of my identity and morals were shaped by the profession itself and therefore I feel great loyalty, but also great understanding of the potential this particular subset of health professional has to offer and is currently not able to realize.
For those who are unfamiliar with my history, the long-story-short is I woke up in the neuro-intensive care unit a little over six years ago with a multitude of disabilities and quality-of-life impacting conditions after a severe TBI. Because of our fragmented health system and the combination of my afflictions, including lifetime retrograde amnesia, my life started over the day I woke up. Without intention, I continued on with the life path I determined pre-injury, which was going to pharmacy school that fall. I began doctorate school about two months after waking up, not knowing how radically uncommon and scathingly difficult it would be. I had no concept of the way the world was or how to live. So indeed, many of my first life experiences occurred and were framed by pharmacy school.
And I am grateful. I was trained to be very critical, organized, analytical, caring, moral, hard-working, and altruistic. My professional and personal values were developed concurrently. The journey was painstaking, but I have a great appreciation for the support and perspective offered to me through my education. My promise does not include giving back to only patients, but providers too.
On Fridays, I would like to share with you the pride I take in being a pharmacist and the incredible work my professional peers do. I am also a huge advocate for public health and will likely thread in topics and themes related to how providers are participating in improving community health.Â
This proposed schedule will be rigorous, and I do not foresee each reflection or output as being thorough or well-thought-out as this current post. Yet, I will put additional effort into this endeavor for the month of August, because I believe the work I do is important. I believe the work others are doing to improve health is necessary. I believe our shared efforts will help us move healthcare in a positive direction.
My ask for you as the reader is to engage with my “visibility”. To share my posts to help build connections, to comment and provide feedback so I can improve and expand my perspectives. To me, being visible is entirely out of my comfort zone, but if something might be worth a try and help achieve a purpose that means a lot to me; perhaps it is worth it.
Thank you for “seeing” me – hope to bring you more great content, inspiration, and future collaborations 🙂
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