Suicide: A Community Response


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On June 5th, 2018, Kate Spade died by suicide. Three days later Anthony Bourdain passed away from the same fate. In the midst of these tragedies, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a report that highlighted the rise in suicide rates in the United States over the past two decades. The ripple effect of suicide never confines itself to those who are burdened under its weight. Touching those around the victim in ever widening circles, what can begin as a deeply personal and debilitating condition, can transform into a community wide aftershock that reverberates far and wide.

In this special piece from The MindReset, our community members reflect and respond to the subject of suicide with their thoughts, hopes, and fears. Take a mind reset today and join us in learning how some of us reacted to the recent public suicides.

If you have feelings of suicidal ideation or attempt, or someone you know does, please remember, you are not alone. TMR is a community that supports you and wants to help you heal. We welcome you if you would like to be surrounded by SICK: Supportive, Inclusive, Compassionate, and Kind individuals!

Now, with honesty:

Suicide has been a very real thing in my life. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people that just has heard about it in the news, or read about it on a social media site. I have dealt with suicidal thoughts, and still do. Others around me that I am close with have suicidal ideation – and it scares me to death. I have had multiple people in my life take their lives, and it makes me extremely sad they were in so much pain. Talking to others about how you are feeling and your struggles is frightening but I have learned how valuable it can be. Reflecting on those I have lost, I wonder if they had had someone they felt safe talking to, would they still be here? As difficult as it is for me to have those conversations about my own mental health, having people in my life willing to be there in those moments of need brings a great sense of comfort and hope. I know because I have others in my life who care for me I can overcome anything. I am so happy places like The MindReset exist to provide a safe place to seek support and to give a sense of belonging and hope.


I come from a community where people experience unrelenting pain. Many struggle to understand why living is worth it when every day brings another day of struggle.


I consider myself to be a very lucky and gifted person, but have had to fight hard to get to where I am today. My struggle with anxiety and depression is a fight I still endure. Often times I think about how other people may perceive my existence in this universe. How they might look at the things I have accomplished and think, ‘There is a guy who has his life in order.’ Personally, I often feel desperate. Scratching away at life, trying to reach a higher understanding of myself, which is always fleeting and changing. The higher I get and closer to resolution, often comes with a low of equal magnitude. The ebb and flow of my perception of self worth is like that of the waves preceding a tsunami. Are my leveys strong enough to protect me?


For me, these recent, very public suicides bring to mind the continued stigma around mental illness and mental health treatments. It seems like we’ve been talking about mental health more regularly in society, yet I still encounter people in my job and in my personal life who don’t ‘believe’ in mental illness, whether it’s anxiety disorder, depression, or attention deficit hypersensitivity disorder (ADHD). I see children going without treatment because their parents think their kids are ‘in a phase’ or just need to ‘stop focusing on the negative’. Mental health matters and depression is real. I wonder what it will take for mental health to receive the true attention it needs in our society.


Many people are deterred from killing themselves by thinking of the pain it will cause others. I wish I could say that my reasons were so noble. I have never attempted for fear of the very thing that I fantasize about escaping through suicide: the pain I am likely to suffer in the process.

Many attempts are impulsive, committed by those who overdose without realizing how seldom that succeeds. The human body can endure some heavy poisoning, and when it fails, the results are long and agonizing. Others try firearms, not realizing that even a shot to the head seldom kills right away. I have met gunshot survivors who got their traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) that way, damaging brain and body beyond repair. Seeing gruesome videos of failed attempts at jumping in front of a train ended those fantasies for me almost as quickly as they began.

It is entirely possible that painless suicide does not exist. Even the very few methods that scientists believe MIGHT be painless are far from guaranteed—most are expensive, complicated, and with horrific consequences for failure. As scientists engage more seriously with near death experiences, it becomes clear that even concepts such as time and consciousness are relative. However strong my pain gets, the possibility of it getting irreversibly worse always looms large over my head.


I didn’t want to tell anyone, because I was in the middle of a semester. I knew what would happen if I confessed my suicidal thoughts; my partner would take me to the hospital. I was terrified of falling (further) behind in my studies. At my school, they only offer classes once per year. So I’d be pushed back a year. And that just wouldn’t do. I had started to contemplate details, but hadn’t settled on anything. That meant I had time.

So I got pets! The more responsibilities I had for individuals other than myself, the better. Caring for them helped to ground me so I could finish the semester. My thoughts didn’t go away, but I had two more precious links tying me to my life. And that was enough to get me through the semester, and to the help I needed.

In retrospect, I should have asked for help sooner. But I’m alive and well, and that’s what matters. I certainly did not commit to caring for pets for the proper reasons at the time, but I’m so glad they’re a part of my life today.


The MindReset thanks all of these contributors for their vulnerability and strength. We are hopeful.

The sky takes on shades of orange during sunrise and sunset, the colour that gives you hope that the sun will set only to rise again.” – Ram Charan


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