When I was seven years old, my parents decided it was time to move away from the house I had spent my whole life living in, up to that point. This naturally happens I think as families tend to age and grow and the need for more space becomes obvious. This move became a very important decision for my own life and my development as a person. The environment you live or grow up in is incredibly impactful as it provides many of the interactions you gain experience from, learn from, and ultimately grow from.
If you are someone who is interested in the scientific aspect of how our environments impact our growth and development, check out the study of epigenetics. Epigenetics studies heritable phenotype changes (phenotype is the synthesis of all observable characteristics, so it includes physical form/appearance, developmental processes, behaviors, just to name a few). For those of you who work in the social sciences you are probably familiar with epigenetics, for me, it was a central focus of child development when I was in school still looking to become a psychologist.
Anyway, back to my move. Before deciding to move, we lived on the far east side of Madison in a mixed-income neighborhood. What it really was was an area that was mostly low income with a splatter of middle-class homes. I loved living in this home and neighborhood. There were plenty of other kids close by to hang out with and get into innocent (and not so innocent) fun. It was a mixed-race area as well which for those who know Madison and Wisconsin on a broader scope know there are certainly some areas of high segregation.
My parents decided it was time to move. In their minds, the neighborhood was getting a little dicey (unfortunately shortly after moving a 13-year-old was shot and killed down the street in a drug deal gone wrong) and our home was not big enough for a family of five. The decision came down to two options: Stay in Madison on the east side, or move to a country house in Black River Falls, a small town of 3,500 people mostly known for its casino and Michael Lesy’s 1973 book Wisconsin Death Trip which was a book that highlighted the harshness of life in the rural community in the late 19th century and its psychological impacts on the inhabitants. It was actually made into a film in 1999 which is right around when I would have moved in.
This is when I have to do some comparative analysis of how life may have been different based on the decision my parents made. There are pros and cons for both rural and urban environments, of which for rural I can really only speak from an observational standpoint as I have no real experience living in a rural environment.
If I had moved up north, I would have had the opportunity to start over new. Building new friendships and relationships with my new classmates and teammates for any sport I would play. Now being that the town was so small, I imagine the entire school (k-12) probably only had about 200 students. Not a lot of options for friends, but potentially an opportunity to build very strong relationships. Everyone I’ve talked to or know who grew up in a small town has told me they knew everyone in town and there were no secrets as everyone knew everything about everyone else. I know the activities I joined into would have been a bit different. Maybe I would have joined FFA, or grew to like things like fishing or hunting a lot more. One thing I do know is that I would have really lost out on the opportunity to meet many new people who are different from me. I am a European mutt, white AF. Black River Falls is 92% White. Extremely homogeneous and not as many cultural opportunities as I have had the ability to participate in living and growing up in Madison.
Madison is still not as diverse as many other places I have been, but there is enough to at least have some options and good opportunities to learn more about individuals with different cultural upbringings. There are enough people to be incognito when desired but also meet tons of new people if that is what you want to do. Meeting new people every day helped to expand on the experiential inputs I have had which have lead to learning so many different perspectives on something that may have had a single socially acceptable path in a more homogenous community. Being in a city which is focused on a world-class university (University of Wisconsin-Madison was ranked the 25th best university in the WORLD by the Center for World University Rankings… GO BADGERS), this also provided many events to learn and grow from. Growing up in an urban environment gave me the chance to be around people who are different than myself which taught me far more than I could ever learn by being just another white guy in a room full of white guys. Being in an urban environment also provides access that a rural environment just cannot. Having healthcare options and hospitals close by, having options to choose from when it comes to shopping for groceries or even going out to dinner. More options. More opportunity.
Overall I am very thankful my parents decided to stay in Madison like I’ve mentioned there are far more options and opportunities for me to improve my life by living in an urban environment. Not to discount the rural lifestyle as there are amazing things about living outside of the cities as well, but my own experience is what I can draw from and I am happy with my parent’s decision to not move to Black River Falls.
Now I know this could be a topic where people don’t agree and that is fine, but what I would like is to hear from others. Did you grow up in a rural or urban environment? What do you remember about your experiences?
Comment below and let’s start a conversation and learn from each other!
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One thought on “Rural or urban? I’ll take the city…”
I have to agree with you. The greatest decision my parents ever made was to remain in the greater NYC metropolitan area and the East Coast and to move us to a bedroom community in NJ. I cannot thank them enough. I do not think for me there is any word that can describe what is has been to live in proximity to the greatest city on Earth : NYC. We all know what NY embodies. It has given me unparalelel access to the full range and scope of what life has to offer : from people to the arts/humanities, sciences…endless! There is nothing that NYC cannot offer.
And I also get the best of both worlds : semi rural and suburban towns within an hour of the city.
However, its diversity still cannot mask the reality of segregation according to religion, culture, ethnicity and socioeconomics. People are people at the end of the day and I have found even the most progressive and openminded of people in NYC still want to associate with their own kind and create bubbles. Many NewYorkers are insular too and think everything outside is inferior.
It is what it is.