Have you reflected recently on how simple moments can give you joy?
Every weekend this past August, I was reminded in some way of how there are many unexpected moments to appreciate. Here are my reflections of my August’s simple moments.
I want to preface by saying that talking about gratitude sometimes makes me feel self-conscious. I don’t usually post on social media about all the cool things I do, because I feel guilty and afraid. In some manner of speaking, posting on social media makes me extremely uncomfortable. In a future post, I can share why I evolved over time to feel negative emotions in response to openly sharing gratitude and how I cope and develop through these feelings.
However, on occasions like this for example, I try to do things I am uncomfortable with because I believe discomfort is a part of growing. I have learned that I can acclimate, adapt, and sometimes even enjoy the things I thought I didn’t, even if those things initially made me feel uncomfortable.
So for the purposes of this post, my intention is to show my community how grateful I am for their generosity and all the joy they bring into my life. I also hope you as the reader might relate to some of my experiences, be more thoughtful about recognizing joy, and feel inspired to act and behave in ways that will bring more positivity into the world!
I want to show you how easy it is to bring happiness to others and how easy it is to be happier if you want to be. It’s so true: attitude is everything.
So here are some joyful highlights from this past month…
Weekend 1: River floating and the great tree heist.
The first weekend of August, my B’s (the name of one my friend groups in DC) and I decided to go flat river tubing at Harper’s Ferry in West Virginia. We didn’t think of it before we went, but it had rained for almost two weeks straight prior to our trip, so the river water was exceptionally high.
What would typically take us an hour to float down the river on inner-tubes took us only 15 minutes! When we would normally sip casually on beverages and snacks during our float, we were instead pressured to guzzle down our drinks, Cliff bars, and sour cream and onion crackers.
Luckily, the company we tubed with allowed us to take a bus back to the entry point for refloats as many times as we wanted. One of the times we went down was SUPER DRAMATIC:
The six of us and our cooler were tied together with a durable nylon string so we could float along as a party. We joked about trying to grab onto a tree so we could enjoy the river for longer than 15 minutes, and we even attempted a few times with our hands. Our only triumph was stripping a branch of its leaves and me holding a handful of foliage. However, one of the times we went down the river, the trees granted us our wish!
A tree viciously snagged onto the nylon string and upturned my friend Kerri’s tube. All of a sudden Kerri was floating down the river where she was quickly able to latch onto Sean’s tube.
“Kerri, are you okay?” we cried.
“Oh my gosh, she has scratches down her back.” Jeison said emphatically.
“My bag! I lost my bag. It’s fine.” Kerri responded while grasping onto Sean’s tube.
Alyssa hoisted up a sopping wet bag, “I have it!”
All while we were having this conversation, Kerri’s tube was rising higher and higher into the tree as the rapid river waters were trying to tug us along. When we looked back, we could see the shocked tubers behind us. What was going to happen?!?!
Eventually the tree returned Kerri’s tube, but all of our hearts were racing from the action. Kerri was able to get back onto her tube and we resumed tubing as usual.
The only other eventful thing that happened was that I had to pee but was too self-conscious to do so at first because everyone was yelling at me to do it. I eventually relieved myself, but I was certainly teased about it later!
For our B’s who couldn’t make it to the trip, we updated them all about our tubing adventure. One of the B’s, Noah, most known for being equally goofy and a great writer, wrote a rendition of the events that only solidified to us that he should probably write for Saturday Night Live or the Daily Show. (This rendition is READ WORTHY. Please comment below or e-mail us directly if you would like to read it. It truly will make you marvel at the humor of this man.)
Nonetheless, the intensity of the events that happened that day and the dramatized re-telling brought us so much joy. Who knew that trees could be so dangerous?
KEY POINTS: Life is unpredictable. Even though we can walk (or float) down a path (or river) many times without issue, the most benign objects can spring into action and change the trajectory of our future events. Also, a good resolution after a crazy event truly makes for a great story.
Weekend 2: Rooftops and seven layers of dip.
The second weekend of August kicked off with a farewell rooftop party for my friend Varnit.
Rick, Brett, and I met for a few drinks prior to the event where conversations flowed about the various shows we were watching, Brett’s pastel clothing and facial hair, and a little bit of people-watching ensued as well. A shirtless Asian man in short-shorts and a band around his chest ran by.
“Why is that guy running with that strap around his chest?”
“Yeah, that was what I was wondering as well.”
“Maybe for posture?”
“Not sure, but it really emphasizes his nipples and they are really bouncing up and down.”
We laughed because it was true! It’s not something you see every day…maybe we laughed because it was odd but not entirely off-putting? I marvel sometimes at how confident people are to run around without shirts on, men and women alike. To this man – keep up the great posture and let your nipples bounce free!
After we closed our tabs, we purchased a bottle of The Botanist Gin and its accompanying mixers to bring as a parting gift for Varnit.
Brett really enjoyed the opportunity to model the liquor. His poses brought us a lot of laughter…but in all seriousness, is this just the tip of the iceberg for his modeling career?!?! Reflecting on this moment: Being silly and appreciating silliness can be a wonderful source of joy.
The evening continued where I spontaneously took on the role of Samir’s sous chef in making the party punch. Samir is Varnit’s roommate and he is rooftop famous for making a mean seven-layer bean dip.
Not only did he make a whole baking pan of dip, he made three! How can you be certain you are having the time of your life 12 floors up if you don’t have provisions to soak up the liquid offerings? Comment below to request Samir as a caterer for your next rooftop soiree…or urge him to share his secret recipe!
Samir brought me a lot of joy because I love creating as a team. Food or drinks are especially fun to make because they can be shared with others! KEY POINT: Including others as part of a fun process can be (un)planned and simply gratifying!
The rest of that evening is for your imagination…just make sure you sprinkle in a pink flamingo, red solo cups, confessions, and tears.
***
The following day more tears were spilled in laughter as the B’s gathered for Kerri’s birthday to feast on ramen and buns, and sip on Vagabonds, Cures, and nitro coffee.
When we were recounting our Friday evenings, Rick decided to build up an incredible amount of tension about a “secret” I told him.
“Jing, do you remember what you told me last night?” Rick inquired.
“No Rick. What are you talking about? I may have poisoned myself last night…” I responded.
With shifting eyes, “Oh, okay, maybe we should talk about it privately between just the two of us.”
“What? Now you’re making me nervous! What did I tell you?”
The anticipation mustered up so much curiosity from all of us that we were able to coax Rick to spill the beans on my secret. Marc, Kerri, and Alyssa scoffed because it turns out my “secret” wasn’t really a secret. It’s pretty common knowledge among my friends that I care about individuals who experience trauma and have a difficult time standing up for themselves. I’m actively trying to become more brave about speaking my truth to be able to find and assist others who experience similar difficulties.
Nonetheless, that day our secret names were born…but this cannot be discussed because obviously, it’s confidential. KEY POINTS: A little bit of tension can be fun and not stressful. Sharing secrets among friends can build stronger bonds. And having a title about an annoying self-truth and having some ability to be trolled about it can be quite humorous.
By the weekend of this birthday feast, the B’s group of ten was condensed to five. The pursuit of higher education rendered half the group to destinations around the country or to Europe. In our passive recruitment of new members, Habib, landed on the scene. Ironically, I met Habib about one year ago at my first Harper’s Ferry tube float. (An egg for the B’s: Let’s keep in mind the potential correlation between Habib’s generosity to a specific not-Miss-Maryland and how this predicts whether I will see him or not.) Habib had many sillay words and many tastay thoughts. I was blessed with his goofiness before I mosied onto my next destination at a good old-fashioned Midwest housewarming party.
KEY POINTS: Irony is intriguing. Ponder the ironies of your life and relish the meetings you have with each individual you encounter. You never know when you will run into them again!
Weekend 3: Swinging in the mountains and being pushed by hope.
The third weekend in August 2018 provided me with the most unexpected source of joy by far. In general, my trip to Colorado probably deserves a post of its own with the level of irony, growth, and healing that occurred. For this post, I will reveal the life-changing event that happened while we were waiting for our dinner reservation.
My boyfriend Cole did an excellent job of finding Domo Japanese Country Food Restaurant for our Saturday evening meal. We were craving ramen and wanted to take our lodging host, Mark, out for dinner. This restaurant had a martial arts studio and museum attached to a Japanese-style decorated outdoor patio dining area. Our wait was one hour so we decided to walk around and see what was nearby.
Reggaeton music could be heard blasting from a barbeque nearby. We joked about going to that for dinner instead of getting ramen. As we wandered down the street, we came across a recreation center and park.
I was in absolute awe. When was the last time I went to a park? What was up with this park? There was fitness equipment, a mindful maze, and structures I had never seen at any park before.
Cole, Mark, and I commenced engaging with the equipment. Mark climbed up high on a rope and showed off his slacklining skills that he summoned from the catacombs of his muscle memory. He was a vision of balance and zen. When he crawled through a suspended metal shell-like structure he said he felt like a turtle and that he was reminded of a strange dream he had where turtles were featured.
Cole was busy doing push-ups on bars and essentially modeling all the outdoor fitness equipment.
I came across a swing made of rope that resembled a tire-swing shape. My curiosity with its structure prodded me to hop on. Out of nowhere a young girl, maybe about 9-years-old, appeared in front of me. “Would you like me to push you?” she asked.
It didn’t take me very long, just a millisecond, to enthusiastically respond, “Yeah! Please push me!”
Based upon her size and mine, I thought she was going to gently push me. Boy, was I wrong. She pushed me with so much force, I thought I was going to fly out of the swing!
It was at that moment when I was at the peak of the upward swing, with the wind blowing on my cheeks and my hair flying in my face when I felt a slight bit of fear. That moment when I thought I was going to be tossed off the swing is when I felt pure joy.
It was such a euphoric moment and I was utterly surprised. Who would have thought that something as simple as getting pushed on a swing could bring so much joy? I reflected: Maybe adults need to swing more. Maybe there are other objects we are not regularly engaging with in our everyday lives that may be able to bring us joy.
Cole laughed as the little girl pushed me and ducked underneath the swing, “Oh my gosh! She under-dogged you!” (Cole has worked with kids for many years and knows all their “hip” terms.)
And every time I thought I was going to slow down, she would come back and keep pushing me! At one point she looked me in the eye on her way behind me to push me some more and said, “I’m NEVER going to let you slow down. I will never stop pushing you!”
Get this. This little girl was wearing a shirt with the word “Hope” blazed across in a beautiful design. The irony of this situation struck me. This little human with “Hope” across her shirt unexpectedly came up to me, decided to push me, and told me she wouldn’t stop pushing me. It was a metaphor in my life that I probably needed at that time, and always.
Weekend 4: Camping mishaps and endless laughter.
The fourth weekend this August was riddled with mishaps. On Friday evening, I met up with my old work lunch buddy, Drew, to catch up. I love that life brought us together because I am uncertain how long it would have taken me to know about Southern haircuts if it weren’t for him. We are also a testament to how people from geographically opposite and relatively different upbringings can still bond over the same humor, principles, and threads of humanity.
My night started there, but then we met up with my friends Noah and Rick for Rick’s birthday. As with any night out, a lot of different things can happen. That particular night, we were separated, people joined us, we went dancing…and the night ended at about 4:00 AM where we (regretfully?) each ate a whole Jimmy John’s sub at Rick’s new apartment.
This information is relevant to how making time to celebrate your friends’ birthdays can be ways to share joy, and also explains how Noah and I felt the next day when we went camping in Shenandoah with our friends Alyssa and Marc.
On our way down to the camping ground, we stopped at a Shop ‘N Save and got some grilling tools and food necessities. We then stopped at Goodwill, the Dollar General, and eventually this place called Sperlunkers for chili fries, cheese steak, and chicken tenders.
Although this feast was the definition of a diet destroyer, I was happy to have this moment with Noah. It felt like a snapshot in time. We were somewhere else, in an environment we weren’t usually in. It was fun to stop in this rural town and just live a slice of that community’s life.
Our cellular service waned as we entered the park. Noah’s Google maps navigated us to this blocked road which required us to go around the whole other side of the park. What would have taken us one and a half hours to drive straight to the camping ground took us almost four hours. We were so out of it. We didn’t really care. I did learn from this trip that Noah really enjoys having the windows down while driving, he also is really good at zipping up over-packed bags, and I’m super lucky to have such a goofy and caring friend.
One of the silliest things that happened at our campground is when we decided to change campsites…after we fully constructed the eight-to-nine person tent filled with two blown up queen air mattresses, pillows, sleeping bags, and sleeping mat already inside. Our fellow campground neighbors probably had the time of their lives watching four people lift up their home and carry it 50 meters away to another site.
We did this because Marc and Alyssa didn’t like how our original site was located near a path to the restroom so people kept walking through our site. This ultimately was a great decision because our new site was much more woodsy and secluded. (Ironically, Noah and I were yelled at later in the evening when we went to the restroom and had to pass through someone’s site, “Get away from my tent!”)
These were other random things that brought me joy on this trip:
- The four of us went on a hike. When we were about 25 meters away from the parking lot on our way back, we went left at the fork instead of right to the lot and ended up extending our hike by about 40 minutes. After we realized we were lost, there was a portion of the way back when we ran…and it was exhilarating! I truly enjoy experiences where I can feel the breeze on my skin.
- We made a campfire and failed to collect wood so we were almost always shrouded in darkness when it became night. Cooper, Alyssa’s adorable poodle-Brittney mix, has a multi-color light up ball on his collar. Cooper was a “Disco Dog” because he provided the fun lighting to our evening.
- We were talking about our aforementioned secret identities when there was a debate about a circumstance that involved something I said. Everyone cast their lighting devices in my eyes to try to get me to expose more information. I didn’t know anything so the blinding lights were super annoying, but somehow the circumstance was still humorous.
- We played this game before we went to bed that involved counting to 21 as a group without any predetermined order. If anyone said the next number in the sequence at the same time, we would have to start over again. I don’t recall if we succeeded in this game because I dozed off with Cooper cuddled into my core like a little furnace.
- Cooper was super annoying in the morning because he was barking and he kept sitting by my face while scratching himself. This made my head vibrate in the wake of his thumping bum. He is so cute though, so he is a natural source of joy.
- I accidentally popped the hood of Noah’s parents’ Lexus instead of the trunk and we had a difficult time closing it. Look it up online, many people have struggled with closing the hood of this particular model. It was so funny and obnoxious. Because we were not able to close it at first, we drove for 15 minutes with the warning sign flashing and the alarm sound beeping in the car. What really made me laugh was when we were sitting in silence with the warning sounds and Noah said, “Well I guess we could just listen to music,” and then he proceeded to turn on the radio to mask the sound like it wasn’t a problem. When I finally got cellular service I watched a short video about how to properly close the hood of the car (don’t judge me, like I said, many people struggled with this particular model! Also, the manual was not helpful at all either) and we went on our merry way.
These little shorts of my weekends may seem like unnecessary information to you, but even the act of writing this piece brought me joy. I think that if we purposefully choose to reflect on the little moments in our lives that seem insignificant and recognize the luster they can bring to our overall happiness, it is possible we as a society could be more content.
I also think it is important to share our little moments of joy with each other. When I shared the story about the swing in Colorado with my friend Kayla over blackberry bourbons and Margherita pizza yesterday, it helped her recall a random moment of joy. She saw a person riding an electric Bird scooter and decided to give it a whirl. She said it gave her a moment of happiness similar to what I described in my story. She then recommended it to me! Do you see that? A ripple effect of joy is possible.
Acknowledgments for the times of joy in-between my weekends and the ways you can increase yours:
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- The MindReset Digital Support Group – The next support group is Monday September 10th at 7:30pm ET. This group is a safe, free, and privacy respected event; RSVP HERE. At August’s monthly support group meeting, one of my peers shared some incredible insights on how highly functional traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivors might communicate or frame their thoughts in order to assimilate to the non-brain injury world. Check out the news section because the news blast about this support group should be coming soon!
- AFSP Out of the Darkness Walk Socials – At August’s social I met many wonderful survivors who shared their stories and gave me more perspectives to think about. I thought that two years was a long time to overcome suicide loss or ideation (well, in my current life where I only have five years of memories, two years could be considered a long time, but once again the number of years highlights different perspectives), yet I met individuals who are still grieving even 17 years later. I also met a person who decided to start advocating for the topic 18 years after losing her loved one. It emphasized to me how long action-initiation can take.
- HIV Awareness Event – I volunteered at the National Faith HIV & AIDS Awareness Day community event. I learned more about facilitating community gatherings and how religion and health intertwine. Check out the TMR events page for ways that you can join us in future community events!
- Great Reads: Books, Speeches, and The MindReset Blog – Lately, some of my mentors and peers have been recommending books or sending me articles or speeches to read. A recent book I finished is Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. Does anyone want to book club this with me? I also recently read an incredible speech about the landscape of pharmacy education from the now president of the American Association of Colleges of Pharmacy. Finally, The MindReset Blog always has new writers and pieces that really help me broaden my perspectives. Please read, share, and like these pieces to support these brave writers of whom some are releasing their souls for their first time 🙂
As my friend, Liz, said to me while I was in Denver:
“Those moments of joy, these are the moments we need to hold onto. The ones that remind us why life is so wonderful.”
May your days be filled with many moments of joy <3
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