A quote from Aristotle does an interesting job shedding light on the perspective that it is ok to be alone, there is both positive and negative potential:
“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god. ” –Aristotle
If you try to decipher this quote, it doesn’t leave much in the middle as far as consciously choosing to be alone. It also is very shortsighted in many regards. There are many reasons why someone would choose to be alone, and this neither makes them a god nor a beast. One must, of course, consider the timeframe in which Aristotle lived (Ancient Greece) and how mental illness was viewed (highly stigmatized) and treated (shunned/isolated, incarcerated, and even put to death). This was because it was not understood, and what is not understood is often feared. The sad thing is, mental illness is still misunderstood and feared almost 2500 years later.
The truth is, there are many reasons people choose to be alone at times, myself included. There are real benefits I have observed in my experience and the time I have spent alone has provided me with personal growth that was needed. There are pretty obvious reasons why it’s beneficial to have someone physically present with you. Things like being supported in person, having help with common everyday tasks, like cooking, cleaning, even carrying groceries and putting them away. The benefits of being alone are likely not highlighted as often as they should be as many cultural expectations instilled in our populations focus on the need to build community. Being alone is discouraged whether it be for reasons of safety, building a family, or being part of a contribution to a greater cause (like Aristotle mentioned) which could be society as a whole.
According to Psychotherapist Amy Morin, there is plenty of science-based reasons being alone is a true benefit. The biggest benefit is the ability to work on yourself without needing input from others. Being alone has drastically improved my own productivity as there are far fewer distractions to inhibit the accomplishment of goals or targets. Did you know that being alone actually increases your capacity for empathy? It helps to separate yourself from your normal circle and be able to look at things from a big picture perspective. This helps to build compassion for others who maybe you had never even considered before. Like I mentioned the biggest benefit is the ability to work on yourself. You can be more creative as you can allow your mind to wonder as well as be more focused on planning out pieces of your life without the interference from outside input. You also are able to take time to understand yourself on a deeper level and learn about how you handle things on your own. Being able to have more dedicated time for reflection and getting in tune with your emotional state is incredibly valuable to achieving a higher state of personal consciousness. My time spent alone has enabled me to learn so much about who I am as a person and I will always be grateful I took time to do this.
All of this being said, whether being alone is by choice or not, you can still find the silver lining and understand there are benefits to being alone. My advice, take some time for yourself. Take as much as you need because taking care of and understanding yourself (self-awareness) will only benefit you in any type of relationship you have in the long run.
