In response to a traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivor who is seeking solutions for how to manage higher education training post-brain injury…
Clara*, I know what you’re feeling. I was the same. I started my career as an electrical engineer, then got a job with a [lab company] and changed to systems engineering. As the senior systems engineer for the lab, it was more than a job to me. It was my life. I designed a system that was used on a space shuttle mission. My career was definitely on the fast track and I was thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.
After 5 years in R&D, I made a change to the commercial side of the business designing systems for large corporations. I was living a very blessed life. In the blink of an eye, it was all gone. I was no longer able to work in a career that I had spent years building. Systems engineering was all I knew. Boom! It was over just like that. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t assemble a jigsaw puzzle rated for a 5-year-old. Once razor sharp, I was so lost.
What I learned through all this is people who are driven will always find a way to succeed. I’ll never do what I used to do and that’s ok. I’ll never take on projects as large or impactful as I once did and that’s ok. Taking on new things regardless of how small and finding ways to do them well makes me smile.
When I was offered the opportunity to work in sound and lighting, I thought I would never be able to do it. I couldn’t handle loud flashy environments. Not to mention I knew nothing about how to do the work. I still have a hard time learning new information but I’ve never said no to a challenge. I never felt so incapable of doing a job in my life. A year later I worked my first real concert as a Lighting Director. I never thought I would be able to do something like that. Couldn’t believe I was actually doing it. What a rush.
It’s not all fun and games. It’s hard. I have my low moments. Depression gets the best of me someday. I still break down and cry some days. Everyone I knew has moved on in life. I feel like I’m trapped in a moment of time unable to move forward. I know my TBI messes with my emotions so I don’t trust how I feel. I try to focus on how far I’ve come rather than where I am today. It’s a tough journey, but you’re a tough person or you wouldn’t be where you are today. Trust in that. Believe in that.
*Name changed.
Edited By: Jing Wu
