When we think “bromance” we likely envision a prominent social or on-screen male duo: Obama and Biden, or James Franco and Seth Rogen. For many of you readers, I’m sure JD and Turk’s rendition of “Guy Love” from Scrubs has started playing on loop in the back of your mind.
The most casual definition of bromance is:“a close but non-sexual relationship between two or more men.” (Thanks Wikipedia.) The interpretation of this definition in real life is: the type of friendship men can have with each other that is more meaningful than casual chats with male acquaintances, but distinct from their relationships with girlfriends, lovers, or potential romantic interests. Bromances are distinct from casual acquaintances in that they often have an intimate level of communication.
The general perception of bromances in society have gone through many phases, though increasing amounts of anthropology research has shown that close male relationships were prevalent throughout history and across cultures. While there have been times where phrases like “but no homo, bro” did introduce a level of stigma against openness between males, the uprising of acceptance of all sexualities and identities has made the perception of such close friendships easier to accept. From my point of view, the word “bromance” was commonplace several years ago, but hasn’t been heard to describe any relationships in my own social circle. I’m unsure whether I am not hearing the term because buzzwords and social trends are transient, or because true bromances are genuinely decreasing.
In today’s current political climate it seems bromances are on the rocks – or stronger than ever depending on your news source and their bias (UniLad’s “Bromance are Wrecking Heterosexual Romances” and the Time’s “Men Are More Satisfied by Their Bromances Than Their Relationships, Study Says” as two distinct examples). In America, political leanings have been the culling ground for some very long standing relationships, so for the bromances that were/are still brewing, full intimacy may now be out of reach if conflicting political views risk splitting apart the relationship. Some right-leaning opinion pieces have made pointed remarks that bromances are destroying male relationships with potential female partners, a “one-man-one-woman” sentiment that some political groups are promoting more heavily than ever before. When politics are forced to the forefront of news feeds nationwide, it has the tendency to percolate into environments where such opinions are part of more casual discussions rather than hard-line stances as a relationship-predictor.
Sociology studies are finding troubling results for American populations of men, such as the one published in the American Sociological Review, Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades, that showed populations of men with meaningful relationships with other men are declining (McPherson, 2006). This study found that discussion networks were smaller in 2004 than in 1985 with the number of respondents tripling that claimed they have no one to discuss important matters with.
Whether or not this form of male relationship is trending up or down, close male bonding should be encouraged and cultivated. McPherson observed in his research that without these types of relationships, men struggle with feelings of isolation that stem from the inability to share their thoughts and feelings with a confidant outside of their romantic partners. (2016) In “A Critical Appraisal of Romantic and Bromantic Relationships” published in Men and Masculinities, the writers found that “… the lack of boundaries and judgment in a bromance are expressed as emotionally rivalling the benefits of a heterosexual romance (Robinson, 2017).” Additionally, this research found that if male figures compared their “bromantic” emotional lives with their girlfriends’, bromances offered “elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution.” While the sample size for the study was relatively small – 30 respondents – the study has provided an empirical framework to pursue further research to better understand the psychological and socio-behavioral impacts of bromances in the modern age. In another article by the same researchers, The Bromance: Undergraduate Male Friendships and the Expansion of Contemporary Homosocial Boundaries, findings “support the view that declining homophobia and its internalization has had significantly positive implications for male expression and intimacy [and] potential to improve men’s mental health and social well-being.” (2017)
Based upon my own experiences, I am not alone in observing females in hetero-monogamous couples cultivating male relationships for their male partners, often within her own existing social networks. These types of connections may or may not produce meaningful connections beyond casual “acquaintanceships.” (Such as the oft found small-talk type of friendship that centers around the current weather). This view is echoed on BestLife.com (Mark Svevold, https://bestlifeonline.com/male-friendship/), which also cites McPherson’s research on Social Isolation in America, “[…] men tend to forsake their male friends and elect their wives or girlfriends as their new and primary best friends in their social worlds.” The article presses home that the typical American confidants are based more often on the ties of their partner.
What more can I say from the point of view of a cisgender female, even one who leans into the stereotype of being “one of the guys”? I can only offer my opinion: it is apparent that bromances and intimate, non-romantic relationships are clearly important in the lives of all. For any males reading this; This is your sign… If you have been unwilling or unable to get closer to other friends or acquaintances because maybe you were raised differently, perhaps you are not comfortable with the idea of a close male relationship, for your own health – give it a try! The hard part of any relationship is forming them as it requires being open and vulnerable in order to forge a genuine connection. Once that initial window of friendship has been opened, all it takes is communication. While the cynics argue that being open only invites the potential for pain, taking the risk to trust in another is what creates the bonds of friendship that withstand the test of time and the trials and tribulations of life’s twisting path.
— sources —
Privileging the Bromance – A Critical Appraisal of Romantic and Bromantic Relationships, Published in Men and Masculinities:
Link: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X17730386
EasyBib:
Robinson, S, et al. “Privileging the Bromance.” Men and Masculinities, 2017, doi:10.1177/1097184×17730386.
The Bromance: Undergraduate Male Friendships and the Expansion of Contemporary Homosocial Boundaries, Published in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research:
Link: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-017-0768-5
EasyBib:
Robinson, Stefan, et al. “The Bromance: Undergraduate Male Friendships and the Expansion of Contemporary Homosocial Boundaries.” Sex Roles, vol. 78, no. 1-2, 2017, pp. 94–106., doi:10.1007/s11199-017-0768-5.
Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades:
Link: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/000312240607100301
EasyBib: Mcpherson, Miller, et al. “Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades.” American Sociological Review, vol. 71, no. 3, 2006, pp. 353–375., doi:10.1177/000312240607100301.
Articles mentioned:
https://www.unilad.co.uk/relationships/bromances-are-wrecking-heterosexual-romances
http://time.com/4978727/bromance-male-friendships/
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