I Feel God In This University Cafeteria Insights on Spiritual Well-being

Since the 1980s, there has been an endless string of fad diets and programs that promise to reboot your life, for only five easy payments of $19.99. Supported by pseudo-science, the consumers of the world ingested supplements, endured juice cleanses, and bought Bowflex machines that they would never use.

One lesson to be learned through the failure of all these programs is that they don’t work long-term. I believe there are three pillars of well-being, one of which is grossly undervalued. The first pillar is physical well-being, taking care of your body. The second pillar is mental well-being, which involves taking care of your mind. The final pillar is spiritual well-being, the often overlooked domain of well-being that is deeply intertwined with the physical and mental pillars to support overall well-being.

Sixty years ago, the majority of the world believed in and followed a religion. Our mothers and fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers tell stories of going to church every Sunday and praying before bed. For several reasons however, there has been a societal shift in the last 25 years. There has been an increasing amount of people who identify not as Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, or other traditional religions, but as spiritual. But what does it mean exactly to be spiritual?

To be spiritual means to have a relationship with God, or some higher power, while not conforming to the societal ideals of what it means to be religious. Being spiritual means different things for different people. But if you can unlock the secrets to spiritual well-being, I believe your mood will become elated and you will be able to confidently approach life’s challenges because you have faith that something greater than yourself is in your corner.

My relationship with God and religion has been rocky to say the least. But to really understand how I came to be spiritual, I must start from the beginning. I grew up in a very conservative and religious household. Both of my parents went to Catholic school for a part of their education and went to church every Sunday. My grandmother was a fierce proponent of the Catholic Church for over 60 years before converting to Judaism.

From Grade 2 through 12, I went to Catholic school. I attended church regularly for most of my youth where I attended Sunday school and received the sacraments that are expected of a young Catholic boy. But as a child, I knew I was just going through the motions. As I progressed through primary into secondary school, my relationship with God became increasingly strained. I was badly bullied throughout my childhood, and as it got worse I began to wonder what I had done wrong. I felt that if God was a shepherd, he sure wasn’t keeping an eye on his flock.

Then high school came and everything changed. In the 12^th grade, I took an elective religion course known as Spiritual Exercises, an intensive 10-month meditation program where we reflected on various verses in Scripture and our own relationship with God. Practiced by Jesuit founder St. Ignatius of Loyola and his followers, I was hopeful that after this experience my relationship with God would be renewed.

The first thing I noticed about the class was that it didn’t just contain Catholic students. There were Catholics, Muslims, agnostics, atheists, and more. When I inquired to the teacher, he explained that they were teaching “spiritual” exercises and not “religious” exercises. He walked us through the first meditation and asked us to imagine a place of peace, a place other than church where we might find God.

My teacher’s request was not difficult to imagine because ever since I was ten years old, I didn’t  find myself associated with God when I was in church. To me, I would sooner find God and speak with him on the banks of a gently flowing river, than in a massive cold room with at least one crying baby and someone always asking for money.

And so everyday, I would close my eyes and be transported to the banks of that lazy river I imagined when I was young. And every day, after fifteen minutes, the tightness in my chest and the negative emotions that coursed through my body would disappear. I would feel completely rejuvenated.

Halfway through the year, as our meditations reached twenty five minutes at a time and often ended in tears, I attended a retreat for 12^th grade students known in our school as Kairos. The retreat was shrouded in mystique. Nobody would speak of what happened on that retreat, nobody could explain why bullies started to stand up for those who were bullied after attending. Those bullies would only say that they had been changed, with their eyes glossing over as they trailed off.

I also took the vow of secrecy, and as such will only disclose minor details of the experience for the sake of this story. Over four days, there was very little sleep and almost constant prayer. We would sit in groups of five or six, passing a wooden cross around (which I received at the end of the retreat). Often there would be tears and requests for strength from our brothers. At the end of the week, we received the coveted Kairos cross in a secret ceremony, an experience that left me with chills. I finally understood what spirituality meant.

Three months later I graduated from high school, and in the five years since, I have not stepped foot inside of a church. In five years, I have not prayed before bed, been to a monthly sermon, or said the lord’s prayer every morning. The cross that hangs around my neck, and the wooden one that is a permanent fixture on my bedside table, are not religious crosses, rather they are spiritual crosses. When I wear the cross, I am reminded of the spirits of the brothers I met on that retreat and all those before me who are bound within that cross. If I feel like I am going into battle, they are there with me.

In spite of this experience, I found myself spiritually unwell. Life became busy, and while I took care of myself physically and took self-care days whenever I could, I completely ignored my spiritual well-being. This year however, I had a shocking experience that “rebooted my system” which reignited my passion to be spiritually well and have a relationship with something larger than myself.

I work as a stir-fry attendant at my local university’s cafeteria. One night as I was getting ready to close up, a customer came up to compliment the food and we struck up a conversation. We talked for a little while and I explained that I had been having a tough time recently. He suddenly got a look in his eye and said, “I really feel like I need to pray for you right now”.

I am always open to an experience, so with two other cooks, two cashiers, and half a dozen people watching with curiosity, I reached out and grabbed his hand, the weight of the cross strangely heavy on my shoulders. He bowed his head and began to pray. He cited scripture and asked God to be with me on this journey. At first I shook my head, thinking the guy was just a little strange. But then something happened.

The cross began to heat up, the warmth from his hands spread to mine, and over the next three minutes my body was abuzz. The feeling was like a combination of putting your finger into a live socket and having that first shot of tequila. After almost five minutes, he released my hand and I realized I had almost forgotten to breathe.

As he walked away, I regretted not getting his name. Like a guardian angel he had appeared to me in a time of need, filled me with the Holy Spirit, and disappeared after his job was done. Over the next week, I found myself invigorated with more energy. I found myself in a more positive mood in spite of the negative life experiences I was dealing with with. But most importantly, the prayers I had whispered into the wooden cross began to be answered.

I am not here to tell you that I have found God at work or that I am a born again Christian. What I am here to tell you is what I wish I had known long before that customer walked into the cafeteria, who I feel was drawn to me by some ethereal force. You can exercise seven days a week and have a perfect body, have a self-care day once a week and have a perfect mind, but to have the perfect soul, I think it is of utmost importance that you find a peaceful place, empty your mind, and talk to your God.

To the man who guided me toward a spiritually elevated state, you changed my life. And to you dear reader, I hope my story helps to change yours.

Editors: Seid Suleyman, Jing Wu

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