Family, some people are lucky and are born into / adopted by a loving family. Others unfortunately have to deal with a lot of difficult family dynamics which can be the very thing they avoid during holidays, get togethers, or just all togethers.
My family does not fall into either category. I come from a non-nuclear family. Parents separated when I was younger, and my sister (the person I can always count on and love more than anything) is actually my half sister, sharing a mom. To my parents credit, I was totally unaware of this until I was much older, and I don’t feel like my father ever treated my sister and I differently, in the respect of who was biologically his child.
I feel like maybe my parents separation disjointed my view of what family meant as I was growing up, though I do not blame them, nor would I want a different childhood. I was never close to extended family and I have gone long periods of time without sending them a text or call. Now, I see this as a problem. In the past few years I have been making it a point to become more involved with both of my parents. Helping out with household projects, and regular dinners.
I don’t want to say that I am making up for lost time, but feel like this is more the “right” time. I am more mature, my parents have moved on with new chapters of their own lives and both changed so dramatically, that I feel like I am rediscovering them as new parents. My sister means the absolute world to me and I love talking, reminiscing and laughing long into the night with her! A connection so strong, looking back, I regret not spending more time together when we were children. She has had to fight so hard to become the person she is today, and I am proud that I get to see her heal and grow as she finds a new path to travel. I am so happy that our paths have joined and we get to walk together.
My mother has had some very difficult trials over her lifetime, but today she is strong, wonderful and full of love. She has been learning about all the ways I have changed since I was her little boy and likewise, I am learning much about her life which makes me realize how absent we were in each other’s lives. She has always been loving, but now I have another perspective of her, I see her progressing in all areas of her life and watch as she continues to become more wise and wonderful.
My father, a strong silent type, over the period of the last few years has really opened up and become a much better communicator and more expressive, in both life and art. A painter and songwriter, I have watched as his art has begun to reflect more of his life and evolve into a collection that rivals Van Gogh’s work (at least in my opinion). I even have one of his paintings hanging in my apartment. An image of an Artichoke with a noose tied loosely around its stem. The title of this piece is “Art-A-Choke”, gives you a glimpse at my families sense of humor…
You can see more of his art at http://www.mikewatsonart.com/index.php. I really need to design him a better website!
These are all just highlights of how my family has changed in the last few years, and if I had not been around to see it and experience it, my life would feel incomplete and full of missing memories.
All that being said, I have also begun to be more visible to the extended family as well. Going to weddings and traveling to my uncles north woods cabin to help keep up the property and build a good relationship with him.
I realize now, though my upbringing was not the “American Standard”, I am lucky to have the people that I have now, as parents, as siblings, and as family.
To those that are in a more challenging family situation, I’d like to remind you that family does not mean blood. Family can be the people you surround yourself with, as long as they are healthy for you and you are for them.
Editor(s): Cole Schenck
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